You deserve this for wearing a Mets shirt to work.

Mets Social Media Intern: So what kind of picture do we want? We can go with Tebow playing football, swinging a bat, accepting the Heisman, a lot of good choices here.

Playing the anthem early pretty much proves the uselessness of playing it at all, right?

Someone: “You should spend more money so your product is better.”

Young men who are skilled at football tend to be skilled at other athletic pursuits as well. What’ll happen is that you’ll gradually see more and more guys who might’ve gone to college on football scholarships instead going into other sports, sports that generally don’t carry the risk of making you both a cripple and a…

If only Steve Jobs had loved chemo, we could ask him.

Remember kids: the first person Manning kissed after the Super Bowl was Papa Fucking John.

You are correct. The reason these comment sections aren’t funny is that the articles usually get cross-posted to jezebel.

But women never lie about domestic violence! We’re supposed to just assume the man did it, condemn him in social media, and ruin his life because the woman said he did it! Fuck due process and waiting for evidence to come out before we pass any personal judgments! He’s an NFL player, and it’s just easier for me to…

Now maybe if this were Jon Voight’s 300ZX, you’d be singing a different tune.

I went to Asheville once and I’m 100% they’re doing everything possible to distance themselves from the rest of the state.

I can see it!

As a Panthers fan I’m not all that upset about losing out on the chance to pay $15M a year for Josh Norman’s age 33 and 34 seasons, which was the only way we were keeping him. There’s a reason the Redskins were the ones that ponied up. Having this front seven makes cornerbacks look better than they really are.

And as…

I’m sorry, I cannot get behind you re: that statue. That thing is fucking excellent. If I were a billionaire, I’d certainly have a statue built in my honor of me leading a charge of panthers with a football in hand as my weapon of choice. FUCK YEAH

easy

While I am a fan of NHL 93, I think the best hockey game was NHL Hitz. How many Limp Bizket songs did they play on the organ in NHL 93?

“No cheating!”

But `94 was better with one-timers and controllable goalies, with the caveat that blood-from-the-head and shaking on the ice after hits were gone.

I’d pay $100 just to see Obama, for once, answer a question about one of these inane ‘controversies’ with the “Jesus, who the fuck CARES?” that it deserves.

As a final fitting tribute to the punter, the family gives up possessions.