*wipes his nose*

Thank you for this story.

Cocaine is an amazing anesthetic. It instantly numbs you so that you don’t sneeze.

I was momentarily worried you hadn’t seen this article.

She got paranoid. The MRI looked like a coffin and the techs looked like they were going to probe her.

Never Smoke a Joint Before You Get an MRI is pretty catchy.

Technically, I think it’s “knob-slob”.

He also gave a shout out to the anti-gay marriage folks and the anti-abortion crowd.

The rest of us would settle for you having some opinions that aren’t stupid .

People have been talking about this sort of thing since we invented language. Being snsrky and typing a lot doesn’t make you correct. Or smart.

Jesus Christ, I would think you learned your lesson the first time you gave rude, condescending advice.

*snort*

Actually, the best Peruvian has a sunny hue.

I just snorted lemonade. Way to go.

I really don’t feel comfortable having this conversation.

Miss Piggy was truly awful. I’m so glad Kermit was able to move on.

I grew up hating the Yanks and I still love Yogi Berra. One of my earliest memories is my mom telling me about Yogi and me laughing about how silly he was. Thanks for the laughs, Yogi.

Nobody wants pits because when they bite someone gets seriously injured.

He’s just happy.

You’re going to look like an alpaca.