I imagine their first thought is "Ow".

Does Captain America really have a shield with his own out-of-costume face on it?? That's one of the dumbest things I've ever seen.

How many 'lol's do you write in your invitation, though?

This is what I picture the Jezebel office looking like on a normal Tuesday. Only with more coffee.

Think about it: the mosquitos at their worst in northern Canada and Siberia, the closest points to Santa's workshop. If it wasn't for the mosquitos creating a 200-mile death zone perimeter, WalMart would have found, looted and gutted the place years ago.

Based on their response to you and their addition to the Yelp review, this idiot seems to think that no one but food service workers ever come anywhere near this site. Which is kind of like assuming that Soldier of Fortune is only read by actual mercenaries.

Either this couple shares the same brain and writing style, or the fiance was trying to do damage control before his girlfriend saw what a shitstorm he'd turned her Yelp account into. Heh.

Based on their response to you and their addition to the Yelp review, this idiot seems to think that no one but food service workers ever come anywhere near this site. Which is kind of like assuming that Soldier of Fortune is only read by actual mercenaries.

Ooo, now I'm starting to like this couple. On their anniversary they go see 'Cats' dressed up in their own cat costumes, singing songs they wrote at home.

If each invasion and apocalypse in Marvel comics took just ten lives, NYC would be totally depopulated by now.

Every arena, swimming pool and open field in a 30 mile radius is being claimed as an event site so they can avoid new construction. The flipside to this, of course, is that we'll have thousands upon thousands of people discovering how fun it is to try to get up I-93 to Lowell or down I-95 to Foxboro for events.

This should be printed out and taped to the wall in every green room in the country.

But oh, the slapstick potential.

Boston's "celebrating"? Check out the comments on the Mayor's twitter feed to see just how happy Bostonians are about this:

I'm looking forward to all the dudebros coming in to leave comments about how he wasn't using proper arm wrestling form.

Yes, thank you.

I quit Vacation Bible School because the Muppet Show was on at the same time. And by 'quit' I mean hid behind the couch when the church van came to pick me up.

If it helps, I think of it and shudder every time I see chowder on a menu.

I want a time machine and a good camera so I can go back to the moment where the defense attorney got their next assignment and found out what their new client was charged with. With a good fast shutter I'll be able to get all seven stages—shock, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression and sudden desperate…

I watched the Babadook trailer. Hulu then automatically sent me to 'How the Babadook Stole Christmas.' It *then* assumed, based on those, that I'd want to see the trailer for 'Disco Worms.'