Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

You, uh, know you’re grey too right?

This is going to be hardest on Bristol, Track, Twig, Smock, Groot, Krunk, Willow, Slider, Stub, Twiddle, Piper, Fluff, Carat, Keg, Snuggle, Bop, Rice and Spoit.

I guess I’ll never get to the cool kid’s lunch table now.

Except that those people aren’t playing the true cost of insurance on their homes - flood insurance is essentially subsidized in hurricane-prone areas. 

♪♫ They see me mowin’ my front lawn ♪♫

In reading this again, I worded part of that last paragraph really sloppily. The Cowboys triggered the optional fifth year in Elliott’s contract, but this season will be his fourth under his rookie deal. His situation is very shitty when you consider the wear and tear he’ll be exposed to over the next two seasons,…

Shit, he must be white.

He was suspended from his job indefinitely.

Thanks, I’ll definitely try to hold off until tomorrow :3 

You might very well think that, I couldn’t possibly comment.

Exactly, I gotta say my 8 year old nephew ruined my sisters second wedding.....I mean he would have if I hadn’t ruined it first with my drinking and behavior to toward the maid of honor

If this is the kind of snark we can expect from Deadspin sticking to sports, I’m fuckin for it.

This is the kind of laser focus I demand of my sports blogs. Thank you.

For a tangentially related sports angle, here’s Mark Cuban working at a Dairy Queen in 2002.

I guess you could say Indy's luck has........run out.

Somewhere Sarah McLachlan just came on the arm of an angel.

#AllBoobsMatter

His advice: Get a federal permit to kill one of the vultures, then hang it in a tree or other spot where other vultures can see it for miles around.

How’s the view from that extremely high horse that you’re on, bud?