I have lost all faith in the NFL. That, and I’m currently listening to one guy yelling about Custom Fantasy ElvenCraft™ knives for only three easy payments of $29.99. I have no joy in my life, anymore.

“The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.” — Montgomery Scott, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)

What’s the weirest/creepiest sister blog in the Gawker-verse? I’m going with Black Bag. (“The walls ... the walls are talking to us!”)

A more-qualified Marvin:

Yes! Let’s scare the drooling, gaping masses with misleading statements! You wrote:

What? No more BCGs?

One of these is less parallel than the other ...

Late-50s Solari Udine, I believe?

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Single best way to make a Steelers fan go apoplectic? Walk up to him and whisper, “Thirteen, bitch,” then walk away.

[S]o how about you put the keyboard down and get back to taking the truck nutz off and getting the plow ready to be put back on the front of your 1994 Silverado.

Sweetie, never, ever, ever, EVER, use your own money—no matter how trivial the cost or how much you want to provide a good impression—to “cover” a customer’s order! Also, if it’s not your job, don’t bother with it. You’re just causing yourself more grief than it’s worth (especially with douchebag managers who have no…

Well, at least we know HM’s Navy is replete with Duct tape ...

I would, however, absolutely condone She-Ra Law. Actually, that’d make an awesome new primetime legal drama. Coming next Fall to NBC!

Yep, get my daily dose of Ask Vic, too. Has really helped me gain “perspective,” as Vic likes to say. BZ!

Yep, you hit the nail on the head, xMRNUTTYx, Bears fan, or not! (Full disclosure, myself: Green Bay season-ticket holder, here.) Basically, McCarthy looked down the barrel and blinked, both times. To fully mix my metaphors, here, the Big Dance is on the line, and you’ve gotta go all in. You just can’t pull your…

GOD-DAMNED AMEN.

“Alert One, this is Eagle One. You’re cleared to fire; splash the Zeroes! I say again, splash the Zeroes!”