The 5 doesn’t even go to Thousand Oaks, anyway.

Not good. I spent the weekend before Halloween in the hospital for the worst food poisoning of my life, and the meds they pushed through my IV (including opioids to paralyze my gag reflex—Trainspotting was totally right about what they do to your digestive system) swung me over so far the other direction that I am…

I was hiking on an extremely crowded trail when I suddenly felt the call of nature. Hard. I ducked behind an abandoned structure and started to do my thing, but I didn’t account for people hiking the trail from the opposite direction. I got startled, lost my balance, and fell butt-first into my own shit AND a bunch of…