I’m auditioning for the writer/editor position for Gawker mainpage, thanks for your support/put in a good word.

Your cat does have a good platform, actually.

You talk like Vanilla Ice, yet I’m the corny one?

You need to read more, then.

Oh sorry, I must be lost. Good day sir. Vote for your horrible candidate and I’ll vote for mine!

Are you really part snake? Has science gone too far?!

Vegemite; my favorite!

Uh, it’s already been broughten.

Before I wreck myself?

She is the most tech savy, and she’s already familiar with the layout of the white house.

Uh, isn’t that the whole point of an election year?

Hey, if you want to be a pendant I’ll have you know that rockets are inorganic, therefore devoid of organs or other tissue for which a surgeon to surge.

Oh yes it does! Do you like Big Gulps? FUCK YOU NO BIG GULP FOR YOU!

What made you think I like Bernie?

I think it’s pretty racist that Clarence Thomas, Ben Carson, and Jennifer Lopez get called “Uncle Tom.”

You shut your mouth when you’re spreading disinformation about the Hulkster.

I know, right? Why go with a guy who marched with MLK vs a gal who said you’re super predators and need to be brought to heel? Can’t teach an old bitch new tricks.

No.

This is Gawker, isn’t it?