Right? The well-that-escalated-quickly is strong with this one. And it almost could have been funny. Almost. “I drank so much I thought I was Australian. Then I kept drinking and thought I was...

I try. I try so hard with Kanye, because I think some of the shit that is rained down on him has at least a little to do with the color of his skin, but good lord that man is a full-fledged man-child asshole. It’s like performance art at this point, but really bad performance art where the guy stands in the middle of…

I like Coldplay :)

You know, it's really hard just being a shark without all these unrealistic expectations weighing down on me because of how sharks are portrayed in the media. Sometimes I can't deal. Hence, why I ate this dick who couldn't watch where he was swimming.

As long as she’s not throwing up to maintain her girlish shark figure.

Post-wine texted this to the ex-husband who keeps contacting me

Chestzilla is now incorporated into my vocabulary. Gracias!

Wait! HOLD ON. Rita Ora human person who does ____ has BREASTS? Holy shit. I was under the impression that she didn’t. I was under the impression two godzillas were hanging off of her chest. WHAT THE FUCK.

This is simplistic, no doubt, but she’s still right about the value of letting go of other people’s judgments. And I really like what she said in another Time piece that they link to in this one:

This is like, European monarchs level of family dating fuckery.

Reason 1 million why I don’t read my own student evaluations and never will.* And why the only person in my department who has ever suggested basing the merit-based pay component of our salary on teaching evaluations was male.** I don’t need to read a teaching evaluation to know that they think I’m a bitch because I…

Can I come at you...with a high five? Because Timber is just like mainlining confectioner’s sugar, and I mean that in a good way. It’s not my go-to Kesha song—that’s always going to be “We R Who We R”, and I don’t care who knows it—but I love her voice on anything. I hate so much that she was exploited and abused and…

OH MY GOD HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT. Googling immediately.

There’s a version of Timber that has Kesha verses instead of Pitbull and it is The Word of Life.

Oh Kesha. My heart is breaking for her. The music industry is such a mess and she is such a talent. It is an incredible injustice that she is dealing with this while the likes of Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato, Pit Bull etc. etc. continue making music.

C’mon, Stassa. You know you loved the original NYP headline.

I sincerely first read the title as: Andie MacDowell Booted From First Class, Moved to ‘Tourist Class’ Like Some Kind of Animal.

Watch out Lisa Rinna. Farrah Abraham is coming for you.

Last time I visited the American Museum of Natural History I literally opened staff doors and peered down non-public hallways hoping to catch a glimpse of Neil. I’m a married lady. He’s right there with movie stars on my hall pass list.