Still one of the greatest games ever made. You keep doing you, Scott.

SHIT! These things come in threes! Oh man, oh man, what should we do? Has anyone seen Tom Hanks at home lately? DAMN IT, can we hurry up and get a hold of William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman??? COME ON, PEOPLE, WE DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME!

“...but please just keep it to yourself.”

In the cops’ defense, it was just an accusation, how could they know how real of a threat he was? It’s not like he was an innocent black man going about his day.

Looking over your previous articles is infuriating. If there’s a job someone should be ashamed of doing, and prevent them from working with children, it’s writing for the fucking New York Post.

There are probably a lot of bad/doomed marriages that start with both people enthusiastically wanting to get married, and many good ones that don’t start off that way. Personally, at this point I think it really is hard to evaluate any particular criteria for the likely strength of a marriage.

Most police are great people, there are just *some* bad ones who might kill you.

Look, there’s probably quite a few good people with the last name Trump out there, but we can’t afford to take the risk that a few bad ones might get into a child’s room in Boulder, CO. Might just have to throw the whole batch out.

“You can’t explain that!"

The Law and Order: SVU script about this is being furiously hammered out at this very moment.

Grillin’ up some hot takes over the holiday weekend, eh?

I’d certainly touch the darkness inside her, right guys? Sorry, I’ll show myself out.

Missed an opportunity to have Magary write this one.

“Sean Murray? I like the cut of that guy’s jib”

I hope that the Coens are in initial talks to get a movie going.

Probably doesn’t want to admit he lost his wallet so he blamed it on Rio.

My wife does this to me, I swear. Maybe it’s just to break the awkward silence?

That’s pretty and great and all, but are there any Pokemon there?

Came here to make that joke so go to hell and die, but good job.

...with a really stellar score by Elliot Goldenthal.