If you really want to piss him off, kneel at the Masters....

I hope his twitter mentions are inundated with people telling him how attractive his daughter is and the things they will do to her in 10 years. I’m sure he will be so flattered!

“I don’t immediately jump to molesting her. I wait 10 years. But so we’re clear, I’ve called dibs on that.”

Q: Can you describe the scene in Bristol when Schilling was fired from ESPN?

Don’t worry, Slick Willie is already working him:

You’d have to have a pretty crazy reason to do something like this on purpose. Schilling’s just pointing out the obvious: the person responsible clearly had a loco motive.

Curt hasn’t been this invested in a trainwreck since 38 Studios.

Despite the recall, the bobbleheads still managed to threaten the team statistician and lobby for more cheap hits on their way back to the manufacturer.

With the Ak Bars hosting, I think the goalie should've known it was a trap.

And yet, that class action suit still has fewer members than the nWo.

It doesn’t need to be realistic, it just needs to be fun! 18 years later and my friends an I STILL play this game. It’s the only reason we lug around an N64.

White privilege

Johnny Manziel ✔‎@JManziel2

No, no. We hate Duke because of comments like yours. Also, because the school produces cock knuckles of the first order.

My mom says I’m a catch.

Dwight Howard Scouting Report

This is such bullshit.

Translated from the Russian: And of course, Steph Curry hits the long range 3 for the win. An inevitability just like the slow creeping onset of winter, crushing the joy from the people and reminding us all of the impending nature of our own deaths. You can see it on the Thunder players’ faces. You might think from…

Sanka, ya dead?

wait for the jokes first before you deem them unfunny