Dear all Pats fans who are coming to post the exact same whine,

“I’ve spoken with Native Americans across this great country. Two, in particular, really resonated with me. Their names were Tibia and Fibula from the Snapcreek Nation, and they just shattered me with their enthusiasm for the name. Absolutely cracked me up.”

He traveled.

Hey buddy, why don’t you make like Stuart Scott’s eye and look somewhere else?

His wife shot him. Take the rest of the day off and vow to do better tomorrow.

Fuck the Dos Equis guy. This is the most interesting man in the world.

Dear NBC Executives:

Davis said that it has always been his dream to be a 49er, and he hopes this decision will help him survive another 24 years.

Abolish the DH. If you’re on the field, you need to hit. Why pitchers can’t hit is bull shit.

I want Ballghazi to keep going. I want more footballs found and photos revealed of Bellichik personally deflating the balls while Robert Kraft and Tom Brady look on and then I want Goodell to have to issue another punishment causing Robert Kraft to end read his Dear John letter to Goodell on the FOX pregame show and…

man, pretty fucking great few weeks to be a Boston sports fan. Bruins miss the playoffs, Celts bumped, Sox suck, Pats deflated, and the Boston Sports Guy gets his nuts cut off. love it.

“I wish I was unbeaten.”

The Passion of the Christ

When asked to comment on why they forfeited, a spokesperson for the Rainmen simply said, “Three minutes to Wapner.”

I really hope they do “Guess today’s attendance”

Which wasn’t bad until the infamous “Pallet Cam” shot of The Rock.

Also every TNA match.

Oh man, about 15 years ago I was in the process of waking up and didn't yet realize that I had come down with the stomach flu overnight. So naturally the waking up process including ripping a huge fart that turned out to be liquid shit. I was laying on my side with my ass pointed at my wife and I almost always sleep…

About three years ago. Had just moved to Toronto, had a few apartments to look at one afternoon. Strolling down Bloor to visit one when the Cleveland Browns went into no-huddle. Just a little one at first, then full on down the back of one leg. With about 10 min to go before a viewing I ducked into a Tim Hortons,…