Matt Bomer. It will always be Matt Bomer. That man is walking perfection.

Now she’s got a show?

I think my mother worked for that same woman’s Hellspawn sister. Back in the mid 80’s my mother worked for one of Satan’s understudies. She was pregnant and doing physical labor at the time when one afternoon she doubled over in pain and was sent home by a team lead. Mom miscarried later that night and still managed…

She also fired a woman for crying on the job after losing her husband and kid in a car accident, and only being allowed to take 3 bereavement days. Was fired because she couldn’t “keep her home and work life separate.”

I cried in an interview too! Lady wasn’t being mean but she was really, really pressing into some very personal stuff regarding my reasoning for moving across the country (fresh start after a divorce.) I tried to be as diplomatic and “just the facts” as I could but she just. Kept. Digging. It was like being on Barbara…

During a JOB INTERVIEW.

Even though I think it’s weird that your wife’s first reaction was to Tweet about it (eyeroll) I was with you until you wrote “retarded.” Seriously, dude? Get a fucking clue. Wish I could take my star back.

You and the wife come off less impressively in this story than you might think.

your wife was going to tweet about it instead of acting like an adult and telling the waiter what was wrong and giving him a chance to fix it? wow, she sounds like a wonderful person.

#1: Retarded? Really?

#2: Yes, yes they can be. It’s rare, but it does happen.

it’s beautiful. it doesn’t look like anyone. i like that in a cake.

I made this cake today. My friend had a a small wedding and I made it for her. I feel like it came out pretty good, not like...Martha Stewart or even Good Housekeeping good but absolutely nice. It was delicious.

Meet my new roommate as of yesterday, Oliver!

Nothing like waking up to a fresh Mark dirtbag.

Yorkie is like “why am I wearing so many coats. You, guys, can no one see my coat? I came in here with a coat on. Is this like an emperor’s new coat situation? I feel like I’m on crazy pills. fine just put the goddamn coat on and take the picture”

Keychains and nightshirts and clothes for your poodle

I am still not over “Look at Me”

Fuckface Von Clownstick