since you brought it up, what's with all the choking these days? do other women enjoy this?

i love candles, as long as they don't smell fruity.

gift card for something generic, like target or whole foods. snoop around a bit to see what she likes. she probably doesn't have space for random stuff and would appreciate a chance to buy something for herself.

honest question. what if, as you become an adult and your relationship with her shifts, your mom starts to become your frenemy?

i would lose my shit if someone gave me a weekly flower delivery. that sounds awesome.

i'm no malcontent, but i hate massages. they're too intimate and it creeps me out.

goats for everyone this christmas!

a cheese basket. a stinky, stinky cheese basket. decorated beautifully with glitter secure by an adhesive that is just a little too weak for the task.

so i might no only be a MPDG but also a hipster? fuck. if i'm so damn trendy it seems like i should have a much more active social life. last night i went grocery shopping and tonight i'm surfing the internet and cuddling my dog. i'm clearly doing something wrong.

it's positive in that you're inspiring, refreshing, and intensely lovable. it's negative in that you might have sustained a traumatic brain injury.

swap "mariachi band" and "children" out for "folk band" and "puppies", and replace the awkward futon sex with awesome sex on my gloriously comfortable couch, and that sounds like a pretty fantastic day.

when i have no spare cash, i window shop online for hours and put things on my amazon wish list. there are a few hundred items on it these days....

oh, thanks. i had hopes of productivity tonight.

if it's not made with antifreeze i'm just not interested.

i giggled a little at this. precisely what did you think cream filling was?

after reading everyone's gift suggestions, i'm starting to think i might be a MPDG. i need to go do some soul searching now.

i played this role for a few guys. to be fair, a few guys played it for me as well. ultimately i decided to marry my current partner because it's the only relationship i've had where i feel like we're both seen as complete people rather than archetypes.

i'm going to start yelling this at the deer that stand in the middle of the road when i'm trying to go somewhere.

i appreciate your grandiose name for your cat. Madame Suki McGuiness Prissypaws also approves.

the issue with pro-abortion is that it's also an emotionally loaded word. i don't know many people who are like, "AWESOME!! Abortions for everyone! Hot damn it's almost abortion tuesday at the clinic!" i know a lot of people who wouldn't get an abortion, but still think other women should have access to them. those…