Oh sugar, don’t worry about that. You always kick your shoes off in a knife fight so you get better traction. In the deep South a knife fight is pretty traditional. I like to carry a machete with handle painted to match my outfit. You can’t go too big, really.

The point is, file request is just file request. Balloon has a little animated balloon that launches itself and floats and has a cute little dialogue AND CANT YOU JUST BE FUCKING HAPPY?

If I want to do serious work I sit down at my desktop. Maybe it’s just my age but it kind of gets you in the that mindset. And everyone ought to build one at least once. You don’t really own one til you’ve cracked the case. And towers seem to live forever and they can do everything with enough bays. I think I’ll head…

While I cannot see the picture, either because Kinja is a bitch or I have finally reached the peak of drunkenness, this was soothing as I am sure Picard, Indy and a kitten would walk me to the bathroom. Make it so!

No, no, you were right. Little known word meaning to “impart”. As in “I’m part(ing) this old Ford out. “You’re good.

And now, I cannot go down the hallway to the bathroom by myself, thank you ever so much.

Two bottles of chardonnay and she could be a Rotarian for all I’d know.

Took an animal complaint call recently here in Florida from a resident who was shocked and appalled that there was a large reptile in swimming in the lake fronting her Lakeside Luxury Condo and wanted it removed immediately. “Ma’am, that’s a gator, they live here, and if he is not eating a member of your family we…

I cannot sit here and listen to this twaddle about douche warfare. If none of you can intelligently discuss the douchelaser, then just go home.

And here it comes out of left field, it’s over the fence, and THE CROWD GOES WILD! UNCALLED FOR RACISM WINS THE DAY!

He doesn't belong in prison. He belongs in an FBI lab setting because I have seen some stone cold sociopaths in my days but this man, this man is the Hannibal Lecter of sociopaths. And found a woman just like him. Good God, what are the children like?

I concur totally and hope that he not only doesn’t say anything about this but that he perishes from the face of the earth like a tyrannosaurus with a toupee that he is.

Which happens to us all, especially with autocorrect but I am sincerely and without snark wanting to know what that last sentence means because it’s so cryptic it gets my conspiracy theory disorder all jumpy.

I so want to concur on this, but it is a well known fact that although Bigfoot has a pungent odor he, unlike Dr. Walter “Small Dick/Big Gun” Palmer, is not an raging asshole.

There is no one I would rather talk to on a long drive than a loose-cat-in-the-car-kinda-lady.

To you, Small but Wise Turnip and Cancanstan: You can take your hat off now, Internet because this kind of compassion and humility is a rare occurrence. As someone whose sanity is dispensed at CVS, and who is damn grateful for it, too, I can vouch for the truth of this. You guys rock.

“I was worried she might be died...I hope you know who doesn’t say crap about this.”

When one takes a running jump into the deepest part of Lake Asshole, and gets called on it in the very nicest way by very courteous people, it is best just to admit you are over your head and quit trying to justify yourself by posting irrelevancies. You got 15 recommendations from 15 other idiots which ought to be…

I love Mark’s columns and this one reminded me of something. My kid, who is somewhat conservative, has a list on her phone. It’s called, “Places My Mother Is Not Allowed To Go Anymore.” Weddings are on it.

Come sit by me and let's talk blood spatter patterns.