starvegervey
Starve Gervey
starvegervey

Lots of great tennis players were born in Russia. Serena was born in Saginaw, Michigan. Saginaw is not a decaying disaster zone of abandoned houses and factories on the scale of Russia or Detroit, but it’s still pretty bad. We’re lucky Serena wasn’t aborted.

I guess you guys are right. My question was kind of dumb. But I’m just such a huge Serena fanboy. I can’t bear the thought of her being aborted. Other people, sure, but not Serena.

How many of these aborted fetuses could have been great tennis players? Probably a few. I’m just glad Serena Williams wasn’t aborted.

There are 16 year olds in the Ukrainian Army bravely fighting to protect American democracy from Vladimir Putin. How can we ask them to sacrifice for us on the battlefield when our 16 year olds will not even do factory work?

It’s clear to me now that the site shutdown was a clever ruse to trick me into confessing to being Crystal Jewell’s author. Closing the site was exactly the correct way to take advantage of my soppy sentimental side.

If Paste wants a quick solution to the labor question they can take Tomato up on his offer to run Splinter for an equity stake. But that offer is four years old and who even knows if Tomato is still alive.   Nonetheless it’s worth seeing if he’s still interested.

You hear the news? Today Paste Magazine acquired Jezebel and Splinter. The Paste editor-in-chief says he intends to relaunch them both. Let us hope the Paste staff understands that the TomatoFace brand was once a vibrant part of the Splinter/Jezebel identity and fosters a welcoming environment for a renaissance of trad

Expired condoms.

The Mach Five.

Commenting at Jezebel is kind of like poking a zombie with a stick.

Some of us aren’t urinephobes.   We will vote based on policies and competence, not urine.

The Jezebel comments weren’t *exactly* nuked.

You’re WRONG. It was Taibbi who taught Elon how to weaponize the 1st Amendment on behalf of Putin and MAGA. Elon had never showed any such speech-abusing tendencies until he fell under Taibbi’s spell.

Javier Bardem would be good as Matt Taibbi.

You need a suitably evil actor to play Matt Taibbi. Elon was a pretty good guy until he fell in with Taibbi. Then he went Putinist and MAGA.

Meh. The overturning of Roe was supposed to provide a huge boon to the revenue of feminist sites like Jezebel but it really has turned out to be a nothingburger for the majority of the American people. That’s why the site shut down yesterday.

Yeah the timing was hilarious. I wrote my first TomatoFace plagiarism thread in many months and the site closed the next day.

Wow Crystal just added you to her follower list. I hear she may be making a guest appearance at Splinter soon. Just a rumor.

That was creative storytelling. Anyone who checked Crystal’s and my comment history knew that. Also, I don’t believe Hamilton Nolan was TomatoFace.

Genuinely bummed out by the site closure. I’d like to express my gratitude to the Jezebel staffers for generally being good sports about my tomfoolery these past few years. I’ll confess to having some Tomato-style accounts here. Yes, I was Crystal Jewell, the 25-year old grad student from Iowa — along with some