*Spike Lee angrily re-tweets Colonel Sanders' phone number*

*looks at screencap* *fans self*

Whatever you do don't Google Pat Sajak.

I'm going as the "fuck her right in the pussy" guy.

The Earliest Four Track Recordings is such a phenomenal lo-fi album. 'tis unflinchingly raw, funny, quirky, and unabashedly twee garage/folk. Easily in the top 5 or 6 of my favorite Of Montreal albums.

"We Were Jids" - Melpo Mene
"The Swallow's Eye" - Comets on Fire
"Dig (How it Feels to Lay in the Soft Light)" - Lost Lander
"The Night Descending" - Iron & Wine
"Oh Me Oh My" - Dr. Dog
"My Dog Was Lost But Now He's Found" - Fiery Furnaces
"Proudest Monkey" - Dave Matthews Band
"Song For Zula" - Phosphorescent
"If Only I Had"…

This show inexplicably pleases my poop deck.

Would you fist 'em in a box?
With a fox?
While eating lox?
While kicking rocks?

The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise would've been fine if they had stopped making movies after Curse of the Black Pearl, but noooo not making sequels is clearly not in Disney's feeble-minded vocabulary. Curse of the Black Pearl is a really fine movie. In fact, it might be the best live action Disney movie ever…

It was Julia Roberts and her innate ability to be white people in foreign lands.

Would I piss on him? Would I fist him? Would I fist him WHILE my dick was in him?

Oh man! I can't wait for that Marmaduke sitcom to appear! It will have Owen Wilson's dopey zen face and a pair of CGI dog balls! And a pair of CGI dog balls on Owen Wilson's dopey zen face.

Or in Hendrick's case: Motorboating

..Yeah.

…What the hell, Diqus?

I was, of course, generalizing. There are a few writers in DC who can portray their female characters as complex subjects and not as pseudo-feminist fap material for virgin men. Wonder Woman's recent run in her excellent New 52 series being a prime example of this.

It was the shallowest of big dumb action flicks. A messy trainwreck, written by clueless men who deduced the entire feminist mystique as mere shallow materialism and heroism in the guise of "sex sells amirite guys?" skintight leather suits.

For some reason, I can't help but think of that dreadful Catwoman movie and remember how DC's writers treats their female characters as nothing more than cliched stereotypes.

I'm not watching any more episodes until someone finds Carmen Sandiego.

It's clearly a metaphor for how much the writers subconsciously enjoy killing their dads and having sex with their moms.