For the same reason nobody is saying anything about you being a total asshole. (Not our circus, not our monkeys.)

Like, all the time.

I blame the cracker babies.

Yeah, no. I don’t think I’m going to see it. It looks like hot garbage juice. DC just can’t make a good movie. (And no, Wonder Woman wasn’t THAT good.)

How the fuck does this only have 8 stars so far today?

And chicken thighs? They may not be red meat, but they’re definitely not white meat.

Maybe it’s some sort of inclusion thing? Like People felt bad for people who aren’t particularly charming or attractive, so they threw them a bone and made the human equivalent of a pee stain on a pair of ratty tighty whiteys into the Sexiest Person?

Maybe you should start using an asterisk, or something, so that people know when you’re being “funny”.

Don’t forget her self-help book, “My Thighmaster, My Self”.

That isn’t Nicki Minaj. (Or even “Nikki Minoj.”)

It is “heartbreaking” because that was what the PR person who disseminated this story called it and these guys are too lazy to change any of the words.

I’ve gotten the shits every single time I have ever eaten at Chipotle, so I kind of wonder how one distinguishes between food poisoning and just eating at Chipotle.

That’s not a criticism, it’s an observation.

I think you’re safe.

Same.

TERFy as fuuuuuuuuuuck.

He CAN’T be a rapist, because Scientology. Duh.

Boucher’s attorney released the following statement: “Swish Swish, Bish.”

You said it...

Well, sure, because I have context clues. Sort of like when my Aunt Judy went around referring to things as “fleek.” But what you said is pretty much the opposite of what you meant.