If there was some way to separate this assface from Barstool, it would be a win for all involved*. There are some legitimately talented people working for Barstool, and reading shit like this makes me feel dirty for consuming other media they produce.

National sales tax.

He remanded himself from this series.

They are relying on him to pitch several sporeless innings today.

OK. You find out one of your employees sends out a tweet advising you to boycott one of your most valuable assets sponsors. How do you deal with it? I’ll hang up and listen.

His beard is weird.

They weren’t booing. They were exclaiming how much they enjoyed Ken Burns Vietnam Documentary on PBS.

...and like all Deadspin posts enjoying the misfortune  of Tom Brady, we asshole Patriots Fans get the last laugh, in slow motion.

Leave Detroit out of this.

Eli Manning is Andy Dalton with 2 superbowl rings.

Shit. Too soon. Sorry. Replace “Ukraine” with “Irkutsk”.

Risk sucks. It’s merely a numbers game. Totally unrealistic.

All this over a show that sucks balls in the first place. ESPN couldn’t have asked for better PR.

Relying on the Democratic party is your first problem.

The truth...is hard.

He likely tried to break into a closed ranger station so that he could tweet his hot takez on the Irving trade, but being out in the middle of nowhere he got no signal, so it was an attempt to steal their Wifi.

Wait a minute. There is no possible way that any entities connected so closely to the purity of the Democratic party can possibly be this way. I am sure that Liz Warren will make a robust finger-pointy speech about this. I am also sure that Mayors around the USA like De Blasio and Emmanuel will forcefully reject…

If they get any sort of a pension compensation I will be PISSED.

The Democratic party is a bad political party that sucks at winning elections.

Hand ball. Direct kick, blue.