I don't know the Volturi. I've never talked to the Volturi. Aro and I, we're not friends.

To paraphrase Patton Oswalt, I'd happily give up the bashing if it meant not having an idiotic psychopath as the President. It's not worth it.

Who isn't? Which is so funny considering she's been married for 10+ years to a cold fish like Freddie Prinze and seems to be pretty straight-laced in real life. Fact versus fiction, man.

That moment when you realize Nicholas Brendon's performance as Xander wasn't (completely) acting. For good and for ill.

Or Kevin Murphy's sonorous baritone.

Aw, shame. I actually really like the current Nickelodeon series. Same time, best not to overstay ones welcome. Hope the new show goes well.

I…can not describe how deliriously happy this makes me. And judging by the crowd, I'm not the only one.

If I had to sum this ceremony up in three words it would be "Fucking of course."

Only way to fight Britney is to get Rodan!

Britney is so processed you could go to a high-level recording engineer and say "I'd like the Britney Spears sound" and he'd go "Oh no problem gimme a sec."

People murmuring in the audience "He's so versatile."

Oh no argument there. Britney is the performer, Christina is the singer. If you want someone who can dance their ass off and put on a show, Britney is who you call.

That first part with Jada is almost like a short film. You could roll the credits right there. Tom Cruise saying "homie" kinda worked for me though. One, he's saying it sarcastically. And two, we've already seen him kill by this point so my reaction was "Oh fuck" when he re-entered the screen.

I think that's what it comes down to: it doesn't have what you associate with Incubus. And this is coming from a guy who loves their ballads, which are equally diverse as their harder songs. But when they're all dull piano ballads they just bleed together.

We all would have!

I love how when performing live Britney Spears doesn't even pretend anymore that she doesn't lip-sync. She might as well hit play on an iPod before taking the stage.

PICARD: Why were we having the blind guy fly the ship anyway? That's just silly.
GEORDI: Actually my visor lets me see better than normal people sir.
PICARD: Shh, not now Johnny the adults are talking.
GEORDI: I-It's G…okay.

Sunrise came out when the Oscars was a humble 15 minute ceremony to hold off the unions and they almost gave Best Actor to a dog. The standards quickly changed.

I don't care anymore. Make it stop. I don't want Trump impeached, disgraced, or arrested. I just want him to go away. I want all mention of him to be retroactively erased. I don't even want to make jokes about him anymore. It brings me no comfort.

You could go on and on about Oscar Bait, but expanded nominees or no, the Academy from its very inception has gone with the "safe" option for Best Picture. The picture that shook no boundaries and pushed no envelopes. If nothing else, this used to tie into box office success to an extent. But now you can't even say…