Alternatively, if he was a bit older and in mid-life crisis mode he would have been at the local Porsche dealer....

The Mini doesn’t have to win. Just has to wait long enough for the Mustang to be distracted by a crowd.

while that Honda Odyssey trucks on for another 300k Cheetoh-stained miles.

Hahaha. Well then.

They’re too busy covering Twitter feuds between second-tier celebrities. Priorities, man.

Now this is the model that will make America great again!

This is surprising, considering the last Mustang we sent them was received with decidedly less enthusiasm.

If you didn’t use Duke’s Mayo you did it wrong.

If you can dodge an RPG, you can dodge a trailer hitch.

hella stanced?

I myself was hoping to start an aftermarket vinyl face sticker business for Model 3 customers... you know, to fund my Model S. >:)

But for this to work you need to have friends...

Who knew that Porsche secretly collaborated with Ferrari on the 993.

No big deal.

Its a Vin Code Lengthener for when you get into a Wreck and don’t want to have to explain to everyone why you have about 7 digits instead of about 100.

Proposed Jalopnik crime division: Jacopnik

Something like this I guess.

Dynamic Jowls is the name I propose for modern design.

Can I get a Buyer’s Guide Supreme with sour cream? And a medium baja blast.