I’ll give it a shot:

All things considered, this is an improvement!

“I make Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X huh motherfucker.”

“Pshhhh Mike just had some cafecito this morning. Don’t let all the haters talk smack about us bro. We’re not playing UF, we’re playing F. BECAUSE THEY DONT DEESERVE THE U”

Absolute horseshit that Giambi says his dream job outside of baseball is “strip-club bouncer” and doesn’t list Road House as one of his desert island movies. FRAUD.

Extremely disappointed to see everyone go nuts over “OMG AARON RODGERS WOULD THROW FOR SO MANY TOUCHDOWNS WITH CFL RULES” and not one person has brought up the possibility of seeing multiple punts in one play with CFL rules. Shame on all of you.

Before forming my own opinion on this matter, I must first hear what Pitbull has to say.

I just thoroughly enjoy the idea of a player complaining to a referee about another player blatantly cheating to score a goal and the referee responding “well, yes he blatantly cheated. But Billy at Deadspin thought it looked cool so the goal stands. I’m sorry, my hands are tied.”

I’m 99% certain this is just a troll article.

Mumford & Sons is the modern day Manson Family

To be fair, I think it would be more detrimental to Trump in 2020 if The Mooch publicly endorsed Trump against his wishes a la the SNL sketch where Bush had to track down McCain to he could endorse him

Fraud! You rate the unflavored white claw, which isn’t in the variety pack, yet refuse to rate Mango because it isn’t in the variety pack. I officially declare Shenanigans

The LL mercy rule takes effect in the 4th inning because that is when the game is considered “official”. So the MLB equivalent would be after the 5th inning. Why not just make it 15 runs after 5 innings and then reduced 10 runs after 7?

Yankees hate the FDNY: CONFIRMED

Why would Jimmy Butler do this at your local Y when he can just wait to do it multiple times during the season

I would have loved to sat in on the meeting where “Frequency Vibrations” was pitched. But then I’d be horrified as everyone’s eyes lit up around the room and someone probably says, “I LOVE IT!”

“YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

He was told 11:30 which when he told me I still said “that sounds pretty early”. He agreed and just said “that’s what we are being told by WWE”

Buddy of mine helps run security at MetLife(not one of those yellow CSC event staff dudes). WWE insisted to them the show would end before midnight since running past midnight because of the large number of Union stadium employees and WWE would be on the hook for a second days worth of paying union employees.

What the microphones didn’t pick up was, afterwards Boone exclaimed at Miller, “DUDE. MY DAD OWNS  A DEALERSHIP.”