You see, at first Mr. Tamales referred back to a previous Kotaku article about some pokemon characters as an evident critique of a former writer’s thoughts on their design. I responded with a sardonic rejoinder that said critique sucked ass and was overblown, whereupon the young Mr. Atole remarked that my username is…

and i’m here to tell you that that’s stupid and overdramatic. everyone’s just saying “ExpECtatIOn’S sUBveRTeD” without any further elaboration and acting like an unsatisfying story is the ultimate betrayal that destroys everything about the first game.

Enjoy your subvertions because oh boy you will need it.

hyrule warriors itself isn’t worth the price of a full game

if it makes clowns like you mad, it must be pretty good. sorry there were too many gays for your pp to get hard

christ all the termites coming in here to whine about how the game refusing to give a happy or noble ending to its characters is some sort of objective betrayal of The Gamer’s Contract or some shit. watch a single movie that doesn’t have a merchandising tie-in, art doesn’t solely exist to give you everything you want…

will do, sir, please jam the business end of a Dewalt 20V MAX XR Brushless/Cordless 3-Speed Hammer Drill into your eye socket

the videogame equivalent of The Last Jedi

jesus christ man get a grip. i think it’s stupid to get your bits in a twist over someone making fun of a fictional character’s design and therefore i’m a white supremacist? find a way to clear out the ant colony in your brain, goddamn

i hope this game never comes out

i think fictionally bullying fictional characters is cool and good, sorry if that offends you?

god i’m glad people remember when a writer jokingly suggested bullying a wacky-looking character and everyone on this site lost their goddamned minds and demanded a written apology for advocating bullying. thank god we’ll all be able to look back at that and realize that was a fucking insane overreaction and feel a…

i guess if acknowledging that comparing a modern AAA game to a nearly 30-year-old game made for weaker technology than the phone in my pocket is stupid makes me a sap, then a sap i am

wow do you remember when a game made in 1993 with extremely primitive graphics could have a lot of content, it sucks that ea won’t release a game with only wireframe models like we all want

actually, the empire would definitely do that. they would deploy 30 star destroyers and only two fighters, while the rebels would mobilize 80,000 medical frigates and three x-wings.

I legitimately do not understand how anybody doesn’t jam needles into their ears whenever you talk to them, holy fuck. All those words and all you actually said was “you’re wrong and also smelly”.

i thought i told you to kill yourself rather than make a dipshit comment like this again

literally kill yourself before writing anything this moronic again

😭😭😭😭😭😭 the bad writers want depictions of police to not vacuously ignore systemic faults within real-world police forces i’m fucking shaking this is a violation of my constitutional right to drink swill without ever engaging a single brain cell 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

why do bootlickers always talk like this, it’s always “oh perchance you did not understand my query? does my educated vocabulary befuddle your inchoate vernacular? the underlying assumption is that cop dick is delectable; perchance you may have any evidence to challenge that assumption?”