space_waitress
space_waitress
space_waitress

The worst part is the comments. I can't make heads or tails of them AT ALL. They follow a logic only known to those whose initials are ND and can only be learned by reading the entrails of an emu under a full moon on leap day.

Ice Slippery

Not really related to anything at all important, but: man, I am so tired of hearing about the no-flush toilet paper thing in Sochi. Not flushing toilet paper is common in, like, a huge portion of the world. Including in fancy hotels and stuff. And it is common to have signs like that for tourists. All the journalists

I do not find Mia Farrow's graphic illustration of the destruction of their family due to Woody Allen cheating on her with her teenage daughter to be as shocking as the actual destruction of their family due to Woody Allen cheating on her with her teenage daughter.

Agreed, Kentucky is the home of bourbon, not whiskey.

I realize that sounds snobbish. I do not care.

I'd rather Budweiser spend money on making their bear taste good instead of on fancy commercials.

Wait. That's a music video? I thought it was a commercial for Crazy Carlos' Chunky Bracelet Warehouse.

I am also NO LONGER FAMOUS. Please include me in the next Dirt Bag.

"Now, girls, our club employs some rapists. Nothing to be done about that. However, to avoid embarrassing EVERYONE, please don't go to those guys' parties. "

"120 pounds," quoth the Ravens. "Nevermore."

I love when I overhear my husband talking to our cats, when he doesn't realize I'm listening. They were originally my cats, and he is not much of a cat person in general, but sometimes I'll overhear him from the other room explaining the finer points of baseball or old western films to one of them and it makes me feel

I think my favorite is 'all RIIIIGHT, freaky friend fiction!'

Feelin' you on the awkward and uncomfortably big crush on The Rock. At the very least, you know you're in for a real show of caloric prowess. Unf.

I could imagine that tent being from Harry Potter.

Pie is better than cake? That's the single dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Um, I've been holding these in my car for the past month. Movie industry is behind the times, as usual.

Dammit HBO, show some wieners already!!!!!!!!!!!! I watched your stupid gay version of Girls and there was not a wiener in sight!!!!! I pay good money for my internet to pirate your shows and I want to see some goddamn wieners!!!!!!

This is probably the first time I've ever been attracted to a runway show. Usually I look at stuff on the runway and I'm wondering what the fuck I'm looking at. But these dresses look sooooooo pretty. If I were a celebrity and I needed a dress for an award ceremony, Elie Saab is the guy I would go to.

I'm pretty sure women at Alabama care a lot more about football than basketball. That's a generalization I'm pretty confident with.

Responding to Belichick accusing Welker of hitting Talib in the knee with his shoulder, Welker said: