CHARLIZE THERON HAS MENSTRUATED ALL OVER MY MASCULINITY.
I also wonder how many of these folks are also anti-vaxxers.
Motivated enough to consume your own placenta, yet too lazy to make it oneself. I have a hard time picturing the intersection of this particular Venn diagram.
NICE HAPPY FACE
This reaffirms my belief that old white men do not fucking understand the concept of personal space.
But Morgan has a million puppies. Morgan is obviously the bigger catch.
I have suuuuuuuch a crush on Ike Barinholtz, mostly because of his tweets
Chelsea Peretti and Jordan Peele
you know if i didn't know any better, I'd guess that Kim, in fact, ENJOYS falling asleep with her makeup on.
Oh my God, I counted syllables up until my early 20s, at least. I've never talked to anyone else who did that. I'm sure it's an OCD/anxiety thing.
I just want to express gratitude and sympathy toward you and all the other posters (myself included) who were anxious, neurotic kids and are now dealing with OCD and/or anxiety. Here's to feeling better and not being consumed by obsessions!
I was also a Poli Sci major and the only kid in my kindergarten class to vote for Dukakis in our mock election.
A couple years after the banana-stabbing phase, I graduated to the next step in sexual self-discovery where I would think about the kid from Jungle2Jungle's nipples (not the rest of him, just his nipples) while laying on and making out with a faux-sheepskin rug in the "only-for-guests" living room.
When I was in 2nd grade, my class made gingerbread cookies. The teachers orchestrated an elaborate ruse where they pretended the gingerbread cookies ran away. They left flour trails around the school, and wrote messages from the gingerbread cookies with chalk. Messages like "Run run as fast as you can, can't catch…
I used to dress bananas up as "ladies" (this was achieved by scotch taping tissues around tip of the banana) and then steal a needle out of my grandmother's sewing kid and use it to poke holes into the banana stem. It made me feel SUPER excited, in a sort of proto-sexual way. I was about 6 or 7 when I did this, and as…
I had a weird obsession with cannibalism. For my 4th grade enrichment class I built a large papier mâché island featuring a volcano, trees, caves, essential cooking pot and cannibal play figures. I wish I had a picture of that. Instead I offer the Mother's Day card I made that year. Mum still has it. I can't believe…
Part of enjoying sex is unlearning years of shame you are taught to feel about your body and your genitals. I had read this piece one by a bisexual man who said when asked what's the major difference between sleeping with women and sleeping with men and other than the obvious he said that women constantly apologize…