Christmas came early.

This just shows you how dumb the Red Sox fans are that go to games. Besides paying hundred of dollars to see a shitty team and fill the pockets of Mr. Burns, they’re too stupid to realize that Dave O’Brien is 10 times the play-by-play announcer that Orsillo could ever dream to be.

DC Comics announces that all their comics for now on will be Batman. Except for their Batman comics which are now Double Batman.

Plus, he doesn’t have any murderous progeny, which is nice.

“Here’s tens of millions of dollars, Curt’s friend!”

RIP Marge Schott.

“I hated Jordy got hurt, but in my beliefs, and the way I believe, it was — God meant for Jordy to get hurt,” said Quin, a devoted Christian.

Except give him a fake nuke code that Will trigger fireworks that spell YOU’RE FIRED.

Horror movie formula:

I’ll give you $50 bucks

Take them to school, dipshit.

I’m not exactly sure what “idea” we’re being asked to comment on, but I will say that letting someone who isn’t a skilled tattoo artist give you a tattoo definitely seems like it’s in the “bad idea” category.

Just What I Needed. The Cars. One of many Midnight Specials. I'm talking high times, good times, too.

Man, this is so much cooler than when Jack Johnson’s parents stole my kid’s piggy bank.

I lived in Massachusetts for the first 28 years of my life. I remember the stress of trying to get an old car to pass the state inspection. I’ve owned some rusty cars.

“...Baker did have one outburst on the witness stand. He told [the judge in the Stroup murder trial, Jack Shanstrom], “Go fuck yourself.” Shanstrom, now a retired federal judge, reprimanded him.

Good news, everyone!