The less-than-fleet-footed Cervelli likely would have been out at first anyway,

“Stop at third?? I thought you said pretty bird!”

“Lighten up, Francis.”

FYI, it is (was) a 4-engine jet: 2 engines on either side of the tail.

Why is nacho cheese not a choice?

I’ve never had skim milk in my life but I remember I visited a dairy farm when I was around 6 years old and the farmer said “Skim milk is just white water — you don’t want that crap” and I’ve pretty much taken him at his word since then.

What percentage of people masturbate for the last time realizing they are doing so?

My Fiat 500 Abarth. When I got it, I was in love. The exhaust, the crazy looking seats, the crazy dials that chased each other. But it was not to be.

Are you actually this dense?

Snow tires do not have the same speed rating as summer tires. If you run winter tires at higher speeds than they’re rated they will explode. They can’t deal with the heat.

It’s a safety feature you dingus. Equipment has limitations, respect them.

The warning is for when you’re on snow tires that don’t have the same speed rating as your summers. It’s programmable by the driver.

You were just doing it wrong. AKA RTFM.

The downside is plutonium can’t be used for much else besides nuclear weapons.

“It’s not mine, it’s yours.”

YOU are what is wrong with the Olympic spirit, sir. If you’re not willing to compete for a poorly-cast medal while swimming in sewage and dodging gunfire, you’re handling things WRONG.

That’s just it, I have no idea! I just came in one day, made some super awesome dick joke and noticed that I was banished to grayland. I’m ungrayed on all the other Gawker blogs too, hoping if I asked nicely I could get back on board here too.

Woosh! I missed that.

my mans got those autocross techniques

I am docking that guy a few props myself: why is he coming in so hot that he almost loses it when he sees the debris field? He must have known there was a crash...

Huge props to the safety team. Especially the guy that four wheel drifted the truck around debris and maybe even dipped into the ABS there for a second. Hustling.

Most bodies are transported in the back of an SUV these days. And not just in Texas.