You can pinpoint the moment the horse goes from “fear of running into a wall” to “wait, this might be my only opportunity to get this weird aggressive weight off my back.”

BLUE COLLAR WORKER: Wow, I thought Trump’s “we don’t win anymore” was playing to my economic anxieties and subconscious racial animus and not about some sporting event, but he sure was proven wrong by a bunch of suburban kids who have unbelievable access to sporting facilities as a hobby while my children are going to…

She might be an amateur, but she’s fake fighting her manager like a pro.

You think Donald Trump’s PR flack has enough work on their hands, but than he somehow finds the time to moonlight as Lochte’s non-apology apology specialist.

I’m never seen someone who has to use the bathroom move so slowly but efficiently outside of a Bob Evans.

Should have been you, Roberto Aguayo!

With his bonus money, he can afford to miss a couple games.

Wow, I’m beginning to think Enciclopédia Marrom isn’t much of a detective after all.

Lochte is 32 in HUMAN years. He’s only like a teenager in mermaid years.

Enciclopédia Marrom broke the case when Lochte said the robber spoke Spanish, as the official language of Brazil is Portuguese.

The Hands of Stone advertising campaign is getting out of hand.

LAWYER: You can never go back to Brazil.
Lochte: Man, but I really enjoyed Europe!

Story before this:

I’m very proud of the other racers for showing up and possibly continuing with their regular lives after this happened to them.

Bears would never file a frivolous lawsuit.

We witness a very deep strategic move implemented by Matheny in this game. A lot of managers would try to hang tough after falling behind 7-0 early in the game. Matheny, on the other hand, gave up on the game, hoping all the extra runs scored by the Cubs would exhaust them. With two more games at Wrigley, you gotta…

Chin up, Cards. You’re so far behind in the division that a lost to the Cubs is the same as a lost against anyone else!

I don’t get it. Touching hands is a lot less physical contact than getting your ass handed to you.

LOCHTE: That’s why I dyed my hair!!!
REPORTER: But you wear a cap when you’re swimming.
LOCHTE: Oh..... Yeah. Shit.

Saunders was one of the first and last good things about ESPN. They should bury the network with him.

Back in my day, reporters were HUNGRY not THIRSTY! You kids have no respect for history! - Buzz Bissinger