It was the perfect crime. In the sense that it happened in North Dakota and Bresciani could have reasonably believe that everyone would have forgotten about it by now.

Jeter had a great arm, no range, and was the leader of the team. OF COURSE he moved to third. I don’t understand why every sports story pretend we live some alternate universe where the Yankees move a gold glover there to lower his value and create a simmering tension that would never be release and embitter so many…

After an incredible come from behind victory on the 8th, the Cards get smoked by the same team the next day. Oh well, as Earl Weaver said, “Momentum is the next day’s starting pitcher.”

What an ironic name for Chad Le Clos.

LAWYER: Well, my liege, the Hogan lawsuit has been filed. They shall never survive.
THIEL: It’s not enough. No, I cannot simply destroy them through the courts. The FBI must prosecute them. The NSA must spy on them. The CIA must... destroy them.
LAWYER: Pity me, for I am just a sniveling worm. But may I ask how this…

Jay Cutler is so unlikable that a person as nice as Lovie Smith designed an offensive line to get him killed and the only woman willing to marry him believes faries and sunspots cause venereal disease.

At least it was against the Powerhouse Braves. I expect the Cards will do better when they reach the softer part of their schedule.

I love her nonchalant reply to a NBC reporter if she expected to break the World Record leading up to the race. It sounded like she expected it in the same way you plan to get takeout for dinner.

You really gotta respect the Cardinals’ poise and playing-the-game-rightness during July and August. Most teams would try to pick up games when the division leader goes through a long rough patch. Not the Cards, they would never take advatnage of another team like that.

Spying on your own players: the new market inefficiency

Someone named Ginny Thrasher from West Virginia winning a gold medal in a shooting event would be too on the nose for Air Bud: Gold Medal Receiver.

How can you write an appreciation of Teixeria without including the best thing he’s ever done:

C’mon, you can’t spell joy without Doug Mientkjoyiewicz.

We’re all on Deadspin right now. We’re all deciding to be an idiot.

Protect your monocle from popping out, because I have about to say something shocking:

I don’t give a shit.

A-Rod has a centaur painting of himself and makes these sort of expressions. He’s a Trump supporter, right?

My Slavic alphabet is a tad rusty, but I believe in Russian you spell “diplomat” as K-G-B.

I see my post from earlier today got immediate results. It must have been from its massive popularity from the rest of kinja.

Yeah, I guess this is impressive... but it doesn’t rank handball high enough and is therefore hot garbage.