She is 26. Excuse me while I stare into the distance for a moment and think about what I was doing at 26.

Lots of Cheeky Monkey’s in Londontown today.

Splinter can stop fellating AOC's dildo and cupping Bernie's saggy balls now. 

TIL, the S in TSA does not mean Superman. 

The issue with Pence is that he’s a hyper religious homophobic bigot that doesn’t suffer from probable dementia. He may have been an ineffective govorner but he’ll listen to the eventual Gilead fucks of his administration.

You get a Darwin award and you get a Darwin award and you get a Darwin award!

Pemex went up like Semtex. 

So Bernie is human, capable of making mistakes and doesn’t actually walk on water? Who know?

I’m guessing the dipshit who wrote the post.

Your former coworker didn’t think it was a big deal to demonstrate that when describing an app filter.

I read the headline and wondered what Trump had against Sarah Jessica Parker.

Trump went with the tried-and-true “Pocahontas” dig, while also apparently accusing Warren of being a centrist? Huh.

I loved Tom’s article from that day.

And here I thought cranberries floated.

“how about writing an article with your own detailed analysis and let’s take a look at them.”

An exclusive first look at The Chapo Guide to Revolution: A Manifesto Against Logic, Facts, and Reason, the forthcoming book Splinter Editorial Guide by the hosts of the podcast Chapo Trap House.

My last raise was 1.5%. I’ll take their offer. 

We also practiced spinning out of the way when someone tried to shove us and yelling, “I DO NOT CONSENT,” and then, as we launched our counterattack, “I AM DEFENDING MYSELF!”

this asshole gets a paycheck for writing a garbage word salad that The Federalist would be too embarrassed to print.