I moved here from Canada, and they think I'm slow, eh?

Uh, no Peg.

Yes, Rosebud Frozen Peas. Full of country goodness and green peaness. Wait, that's terrible. I quit! Just a handful for the road.

Sit perfectly still. Only I may dance

Oh, everything's stolen nowadays. Why, the fax machine is nothing but a waffle iron with a phone attached.

Yeah? Lawsuit? Oh, come on. My "Seven Words You Can't Say on TV" bit was
entirely different from your "Seven Words You Can't Say on TV" bit.

Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.

The Monkees weren't about music, Marge. They were about rebellion, about political and social upheaval!

Wow, Paul McCartney! I read about you in history class! But where's your wife, Linda?

The man was obsessed… obsessed with breasts!

haha, I get jokes.

Mr. Laswell… I've done it again.

K.K.K.? That's not good.

I'm seeing double… four Krusty's!

So, Twiggy, I hear you and your husband, Woody, just had a baby. What did you name him?
Shit.

I'll teach you to whistle on the Sabbath!

To overcome the spider's curse, simply quote a Bible verse. Uh… Thou shalt not… uh… (Homer throws a rock at the spider's head)

What religion are you?
You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life. Uh… Christianity.

The place is full of eligible bachelors. John Wayne, Tupac Shakur, Sherlock Holmes.

"Attempted murder," now honestly, did they ever give anyone a Nobel prize for "attempted chemistry?"