Homer, we're out of vodka!

Hey Dolph, take a memo on your Newton. Beat up Martin.

Lobo… Lobo… bring back Sheriff Lobo

All right! It's time for ABC's "TGIF" lineup!

I call it, "Billy and the Clone-osaurus."

Ron Howard's attached to direct.

Yo check this out.. Black guys drive a car like this: doo doo chhh ba doo doo. Yeah but white guys, they just drive a car like this: Badiptdadoo badipta dipta doo!

Everything changes when you hit the big 1-0. Your legs start to go. Candy doesn't taste as good anymore.

All this drinking, violence, destruction of property — are these the things we think of when we think of the Irish?

Well, it beats doing stuff.

Children, it's time for your history lesson. Put on your virtual reality helmets.

And some people think Joe used to sit down there near those ducks. But it could be that there's just no room, in this modern world, for an old man and his ducks.

The sun is out, birds are singing. Bees are trying to have sex with them… as is my understanding.

If celebrities didn't want people pawing through their garbage… and saying they're gay, they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.

Bar, my motor's gone loco!
Oh! The birdhouse.
My prize orchids!

I was elected to lead, not to read!

Kirk, crackers are a family food, happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know.

I'm so sick of that guy.

Who can tell me the atomic weight of bolognium?

Now, here are some of your no-name bands. Sonic Youth?