I make some pretty amazing chicken and white bean chili. I also like to think I'm reasonably tough, so... Bring it.

close. The worst would be that garlic is disgusting.

My old rugby team was “the dolphins.”

I would follow/read your stuff obsessively! Also I don’t know... I think the ban hammer (tee hee, love the image), should be righteously used! I listened to Kara on a “yo! Is this racist?” podcast where she mentioned casually the use of banning for people who are abusive. Fuck it. They deserve it.

When I was an undergrad (what feels like a million years ago. I mean, Google didn’t exist! Etc.) I used MDMA a handful of times. I had to stop after number 3? The first time was so, so good. After that, it seemed really speedy. I hated it. At one point, the last time, I lost control of my eyeballs? It was like they…

An old man on a bus was singing the blues the other day. He was really good, and not particularly loud. The bus driver told him to stop singing, because he might be bugging the passengers. He then asked us, we all shrugged, and the old man kept singing. I wouldn't say it improved my existence, but it wasn't bad. I'll…

My ex is 40. I'm 36. (Closer to 37.) he's dating a 21 year old. Just shoot me.

The red wine is a Syrah/Petit Syrah blend, aged in oak. Pretty decent, actually. The white is a Gewurtztraminer/Sauvignon Blanc blend that is just weird. (In the booze industry, IDGAF about 50 shades anything.)

What you said, and what I meant, are the not the same thing.

I don't find it boring. I just hate that society is so hyper critical of women's bodies that this is a thing she needs to continually address.

She’s actually pretty slamming. She posted a pic of herself in response to some douchebag commenting on her weight, (a reporter??) and she’s a size six, super toned abs, legs. She’s just not a size 00 or whatever the Hollywood standard is these days. (Which is a fine size to be, if that’s you. Please spare me the…

You are absolutely right. I'm just saying I wish it wasn't necessary.

I love Amy Schumer so, so much. It’d be nice if she didn’t have to talk about her body constantly, but she remains confident/funny about it. I'm not sure if society, in general, is as aware of her as, say, Jezebel, is, but I hope so. I love her unflinching takedowns of everyday sexism/misogyny/the patriarchy.

I'm also not opposed to pie holes, but thank you. :-)

Fair.

A good server will probably back the fuck off if you’re tears and be as unobtrusive as possible. I once sat a a restaurant bar and ordered food, (I’m a regular), and my bartender/server (whom I’ve had a lot) saw that I was kinda weepy. (The bar was empty, the restaurant not peak hours.) He gave me plenty of space, but…

You say “eat a dick” like that’s a bad thing...

These are the (horrifying) best. I like to think of myself as a creative person, but I could never make these up. (I was never a server, though I was once a bartender at a shitty Mexican nightclub run by the Armenian mafia. Most of my stories are about my boss being creepy and/or in a cocaine fueled rage.)

My dad has intermediate stage prostate cancer and I'm really scared. I'm not ready to lose him. My dad is great. I'm not ready to live my life without him.

He still looks like a kid.