this is why i only ever hook up with the girls from tinder because one time i hooked up w/ this guy he put his HAND on my ceiling. I lied and said my mother was coming home but i was actually mad that he stood up and my bed and touched my ceiling. I never called him back ever

I once had a man ask for cocktail sauce with his oysters. The restaurant I worked at didn't serve it, but I (very politely!) offered to bring him ketchup and horseradish and his wife ended up leaving an angry note with my manager that said I treated them like hicks. I think they just didn't know that ketchup and…

We have a lady who always asks for us to leave the chick peas off of her salad to which we reply we do not not have we ever put chick peas on our salads. Once you bring the salad out she will huff and puff and hold up the peppercini and exclaim she didn't want any chick peas. She's been told many times that it is not…

I didn't know what chicken fried steak was until I was in my 20s. I think it's a common mistake, especially for those who didn't grow up with it. (Is chicken fried steak a southern thing? ) When my eyes saw fried + chicken on the menu, I assumed it was fried chicken. And steak, by the way, does not always refer to…

I am so happy to find that my obsessive love of Dick is mutual.

Now I'm desperate to go home and watch the movie again...and I still need to work for another six hours.

Words with friends?

But my Magic 8 ball says she is legit!

I don't think you want the current SCOTUS doing that. You really don't. Wait until at least Scalia or Thomas retire/die

It will take less than 72 hours for a Judge to figure out this is bullshit and strike it down.

Counterpoint: Fat shaming DID make me lose weight, by helping give me a spectacular eating disorder! Yay!

It kind of makes me wonder - do celebrity superstars have insurance? Where does Kanye get his? Is it bought out-of-pocket, or paid for by his recording company? I don't know who Kim's employer is (her mother?). Does the Kardashian Empire come with a good dental/optical package?

They always say you should have insurance…

bc is for 1 thing anf 1 thing only

RDJ used to be my #1 celebrity crush until I found out that he's a republican. le sigh.

That quote reads like a line by a Tracy Morgan character.

Because LOOK AT IT... She's hideous!!!!

I gotta say, I know Taylor Swift can be too earnest and sugary sweet and a little immature, but I really, really like this post from her. She doesn't pretend like pain and bullying go away, she doesn't say one day the bullies will be suddenly ugly and poor and those who are bullied will be beautiful and rich. She's…

Because it also hurt my brain, I just read the link and apparently she was attacked by bees.

I read that Blake Lively excerpt 4 times and I still have no idea what she's talking about. Is she aging? Is she being attacked by bees? And what the fuck do color coordinated sprinkles have to do with anything?

Oooh, do they sell this sweatsuit in a size 6?