I ate a lot of Fun Dogs in college (phrasing!) because they were so cheap. I’m surprised I didn’t get scurvy or something.

I follow a lot of animal-related accounts on instagram and I see commenters ALL THE TIME like, “Animals are so much better than humans.” Drives me fucking bonkers.

Yep. Collies are herding dogs. They are literally bred to nip at heels. Danes are sooooo sweet and gentle.

This picture is giving me FEELS. The cat looks like my cat and the dog looks like my dog who passed away right before xmas.

“Pantsless”? I always say “Pantless” . . .

Ya know, when I was applying to law school, I didn’t even consider places like Yale. I didn’t think I was good enough, or smart enough to get in. And now I see the fucking caliber of human that makes it into these places . . .

In loving memory . . . what the fuck am I looking at . . .

Love that the steaks are obviously well done.

Yep I say “ey-gos” too. I’m like . . . extremely midwestern. Vowels are smashed flat and pronounced through my (perpetually congested) nose.

I unfortunately lived in ND for a few years and, yes, they mean salsa. I always assumed they say “chip sauce” to avoid referencing another culture or language.

Wait how do you say LEGOs if not lay-gos? It rhymes with Eggos, right?

The average person is practically computer illiterate. Let’s not aspire to be the average person.

UGGGHH my former boss was 68 (she’s retired, not dead) and she would constantly project onto the big screen in a conference room and I’d have to watch her cut and paste by going up to the FUCKING EDIT DROP DOWN IN THE MAIN MENU every time!!

I’ve never seen it but I think my husband stands on the opposite side of the room and THROWS the dishes in the general direction of the dishwasher.

Oh . . . I didn’t even realize they were different. Thanks!

Hey. I’m a regular old mom, and it feels great when I get to pass my kid off to paid help to go party. Parents need to party, too.

I went to Disney for the Harry Potter attractions with my sisters a few years ago and there were PLENTY of adults without kids. If you want to go, go.

I’m sorry, ma’am your husband died on the operating table. Dr. Horse cannot be blamed for botching the surgery. He’s new to this and mistakes are to be expected.

Finally, someone gets the real issue here! “Awesome” has been used in this context for decades. It’s absurd to complain about it now like’s it a new trend.

Get over it