what’s up with the “my dear”? seems a bit patronizing

Thank God an expert showed up. Previously we were stuck taking the word of the woman this experience actually happened to.

Initial reports have PacMan avoiding the confrontation, grabbing something to eat, and then seeking out his attacker.

Chef: MY MOM

ESPN needs to boot Mark Jackson into the sun and give Doris the microphone.

The only thing that scares me about Michigan is the water. And maybe the winter.

12th man hates 13th amendment.

This is the awning of the age of hilarious.

Steve Kerr is an easy guy to like.

She said “fucking retar-”, I believe.

[the preceding dialogue consists of Derek Jeter talking to himself in front of a mirror while Dire Straits plays in the background]

I lost all respect for McCarthy years ago when he blamed a playoff loss on a mistake by a special teamer rather than his own late game play-calling cowardice.

When you’d rather be a team that supports “real American values” than one that wins, this is what happens.

More like he rode the emasculator, amirite?

Well that escalated quickly.

Lauren, send some Deadspin staffers to do some investigative journalism. Pull the fire alarm and see if he makes it out on foot.

It’s just down the road from Lower Codswobble. Which of course is a mere jaunt from Upper Codswobble.

Fed up with the Marlins? Join the club!
Then get traded from the club!
At the Miami Marlins 2018 fantasy camp you will be treated like a real player! Enjoy everything from tossing long ball to batting practice to taking grounders on the major league field. Once you get settled in you will be shipped to another MLB…

<holds envelope to forehead>

You cynical fucks can go fuck yourselves, 60 points on 50 shots is literally the perfect ending to Kobe’s career.