Help help I’m drowning in all this free speech.

People have no taste buds and don’t really care about quality food.

You can’t get bacon on a big mac?

I vote Tom Waits as the new Rick.

Yup. Better cutscenes is not remotely worth purchasing for.

That’s probably why we beat em at football nearly half the time.

They spoke their mind with conviction and clarity.  And chodes like you are still like, “Hm, like really?  C’mon.”  While misgendering them too.

gawker (or whatever it is now) has made it abundantly clear by now that this is not a priority

lol no kids use fb messemger

Counterpoint, and I can’t stress this enough: Blow it out your ass.

Or maybe, “Oof, two bran muffins and a large coffee, I gotta take a huge Elon!”

cis-gender is a group designation with negative connotations that is most often used to criticize and condemn

Yep I’m gen X, and I’m not paying for booze at a concert.  Way more convenient to eat a gummy beforehand and/or smoke a joint while I’m there, plus I’ll sleep way better that night than I would if I drank $100 worth of crappy beer.

Ten year old me is fully tumescent.

If anyone still thought she was a decent human being, this ain’t gonna change their mind.  

Yes, but I’m pretty sure he does this with everyone else too.

It’s pretty.  Looking forward to driving it in a video game.

I never saw Kingdom of the Crystal Skull — should I?

Hard pass.  You can’t make a turd like crystal skull and expect me back.

the company will donate a little less than the price of a McDonald’s Big Mac meal to charity