You must dismember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a scythe is just a scythe.

But the next day he got offed. By the very same butchers.

I went to a knife fight and a high school musical broke out.

It was a flimsy premise to begin with.

Where's the birth certificate, Sweeney Todd?
#BarberOfKenyaStreet

Can't wait for the fall performance of M. Butterfly Knife

Audience members said it was horrible, the worst thing they've ever seen. When they were informed that a few people were injured during the play, they said "Really?"

Robin! To the Gotham Morgue!

Like farting at Death Valley.

Arby's.

Helena Bonham Carter was helicoptered in to lap up the stage.

"The part of Emile will be played by an alligator."

They say the show must go on, but I don't think they meant skin is the show and the thing that must go on is blood all over the stage is a convoluted way to make a point.

I've heard of break a leg, but slice a jugular?

Kids stab the darnedest things.

Everything is gonna be fine.

The first 5,000 fans get a free wheelchair.

I just hope nobody tells him about my scrotum tattoo.

Make sure you have enough buzz left for the drive home. You don't want to fall asleep behind the wheel.

Jeremiah won a stuffed bullfrog!