And then the light was like "Nerd!"

I guess I'm gonna have to pull the funding on those starving kids in Alaska.

So you've heard of the rumor yourself?

The lobster is the Rob Schneider of the sea.

Two lubes.

Goin' south.

I've been quietly hiking up Mount Forearm, which is just the forearm of a sleeping giant. Rumor is, there's gold in his belly button.

Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he was murdered by home intruders?

The Day The Broom Stood Still

My Own Private Eye of Newt

Is that the Bollywood adaptation of The Matrix?

Hire my meth addict cousin to paint it.

That bedroom was asking for it.

The only thing that will stop a sad Keanu with a gun is a rad Keanu with a gun.

I think I'm too old at this point to write the great American racist manifesto.

The source of Frank Stallone's power?

In related news, Shadoe Stevens has released a book entitled Keanus.

Whoa!

Stiff Peter Stormare?

In related news, Canada just gave out its fax number to the entire planet.