Make lemon out of lemonade and harvest a good donor ACL from the scene. In case.

Every stadium with an open trough is tied for second as the worst stadium ever. Qualcomm during a Raiders game is in first place.

Toughest ticket ever.

Being good at work to me doesn’t balance out being a constant, prickly jerk. Unless he is only disrespectful people with media credentials. That I buy. Some are flat unlikeable.

Flirting skill is one of the first things to wither and die while working from home. Consider that tradeoff very carefully.

Kelly “Socket Rocket” Olynyk is yet another example of why THERE ARE TOO MANY NBA TEAMS.

Grow some Chia fuzz on that tape and slap it on top of your head, Rick.

Fifth Beatle, NHL Playoff Game 8, and 10 inches. One of these is true.

I have yet to find a hair in my Subway food, raising them near the top on my food chain.

I am not down with those dual belts restraining/hiding what must be her unattractive high gut.

I want her.

The pitch invader’s goal was disallowed? Somewhere right now the Stanford band is meeting to toast themselves.

Why has the Scott Boras whining died down? I looked forward to more of his boohooing on the Cubs’ permissible and wise Bryant delay.

Is it skilled lighting and makeup, or is the alleged criminal as pretty as this pic depicts?

My favorite part is the hole that dispenses blue bottles.

Barry Bonds’ juicer-acceptance advice is Scott Peterson’s breakup tips.

This tops the most ridiculous lie to his ex-wife.

The little one only wanted to hump Mike Trout's leg.

You call Phil Mickelson "girthy". He was not today. He does walk like a fat man, putt like a pudgy man, and hit drives like a girthy man. He has often been fat, and many future Phils will be fat.

Livespin on Deadspin.