Ah, I gotcha. I don’t tend to read words in online discussions with the precise legal definition in mind, but I understand how the word “coercion” could get confusing here.

You think it makes someone a slut to be in a sexual situation they don’t know how to handle?

I can’t believe I’m answering you, but: I respond to opinions different from my own all the time. I don’t respond when someone writes 500 words telling me what I think and how I’m going to respond and accusing me of saying things I never said. You obviously have both sides of the conversation in your head, so why…

I can’t believe I’m answering you, but: I respond to opinions different from my own all the time. I don’t respond when someone writes 500 words telling me what I think and how I’m going to reply and accusing me of saying things I never said. You obviously have both sides of the conversation in your head, so why waste…

My impression was that she wanted to mess around, but decided fairly early in the encounter that things weren’t going very well and she wasn’t going to sleep with him that night. She tried to say that, but he played it off. (“If I pour you more wine, does that make this our second date?”)

I just don’t get why it’s relevant, outside the purely legal sense? It’s like arguing you weren’t driving drunk because your blood alcohol content was .00001% below the legal limit. Technically you’re right and you won’t get a ticket, but that doesn’t mean getting behind the wheel was a good idea. “Coercion” may not…

YES EXACTLY. So many of the people responding to me want to talk about legal vs. not legal, when that really doesn’t matter — we’re internet posters, not lawyers. The important things are that he a)persisted in trying to have sex with someone who didn’t want to have sex with him and b)publicly identifies as a…

Borderline (and I am a parent). On the one hand, I understand the principle of “don’t wake a sleeping baby.” On the other, half an hour (minimum) is a long time to leave a toddler unsupervised outside, even if she is asleep. They move fast at that age, and I wouldn’t put it past one to get out her car seat and…

Okay, you clearly feel that you know what I think, so I’m not going to waste my time responding to that. I fell asleep halfway through anyhow.

Also, if it’s a boy, they’d be ideally matched to pair off with the Kardashian-West kids. Which would be fun just for the number of heads it would make explode.

I dunno, I think we can expect better from people than “not actual rape.”

Yep. That’s exactly what I said.

Not deliberately misreading, just pissed off. I agree that what Ansari allegedly did was not, legally speaking, sexual assault. I also think that’s a strawman argument — something doesn’t need to be illegal to be wrong (or “shitty”) and to deserve a public airing.

I don’t have it in me to reread the piece right now, but my recollection is that she asked him to slow down several times and his response each time was to change things slightly and then go right back to full speed ahead. If she’s accurate that her body language was also uncomfortable, he should have taken the hint…

For what it’s worth, I’m 39, and firmly #TeamGrace. She was naive and didn’t really know how to handle herself in a sexual situation gone bad, but I think we’ve *all* been unsure of ourselves in that realm at some time. We’ve all made mistakes that made us vulnerable. (If you can honestly say you haven’t,…

You don’t think it’s coercion if someone just doesn’t hear a no? He was trying to wear her down, basically; the fact he didn’t quite succeed doesn’t make what he did okay.

the slapping and yelling wasn’t because women were better, stronger, gutsier, or grittier in the old days: this struggle was tied up inextricably in female purity and the stakes a woman faced in her eventual, and all but obligatory married life—where, by the way, once there, she had no recourse should her husband…

Whatever. If his name was Aaron Smith and his mom worked at Dairy Queen, he wouldn’t have the job he has. Go jerk off over him someplace else.

Not his fault, maybe, but he’s not examining his unearned privilege at all as far as I can tell. He’s been famous since birth, and I don’t get the impression he realizes how many of his opportunities aren’t available to any bright young journalist. The fairer and more enlightened thing for him to do would be to step…

If Farrow openly accepts his role as one of many, why on earth must it be so hard for outlets like The Hollywood Reporter to follow suit?