I feel like a stick of butter for 3lbs of potatoes might not actually be enough butter.

Plus, the joke was clearly self-deprecating. I’ve been saying it from the start that they’re both unstable and immature but Pete seems like the nicer one here, Ariana gives me mean girl vibes. Pete made some tasteless jokes but I guess it’s lost on people that joking about something isn’t the same as doing something. 

Yeah, I’m Team Pete on this one. He was doing a promo for Saturday Night Live, for fuck’s sake, which is a COMEDY SKETCH SHOW. Ariana Grande’s response was stupidly immature. Quite frankly, I give massive side-eye to anyone who airs their personal issues on a public forum, whether or not they’re a celebrity. The whole…

“And Scary Spice was Posh Spice.”

This is so wrong. You keep a wash cloth under your butt so you don’t get sore from the hard tub, drain a lil water, add some fresh hot agua, hit a bong rip, and press play on Netflix. Baths are meant to be two-hour affairs.

“50 Cent reportedly bought 200 tickets to a Ja Rule show so the seats would be empty”

I wish. I’ve wanted to try mushrooms as a treatment for the persistent depression I’ve suffered from for about 30 years now, ever since reading about some clinical trials a few years ago that produced some startlingly positive outcomes. However as a middle-age man with a social circle that’s so small it’s basically a…

That is terrifying! Does he not have any family who can help him?

Where’s the dong? It’s not proper Roman graffiti without a dong.

Yeah the rule is obviously “Don’t hold the door open for people you don’t know” and not “Physically deny entry to anyone even if they have a fob.”

While I’m certainly happy that America’s favorite QAnon-posting, Ambien-blaming shitbag did indeed lose her cashcow, it is really a bad thing that her character dies of an opioid overdose? It’s a serious problem, and even if one person out of the 15+ million who tuned in thinks that maybe they should ask their doctors…

Babies don’t soften everyone. They make you realise how much less you can/want to tolerate other people’s awful behaviour. 

alternatively, just use the water you brought on the plane because plane water is sketchy

Oh thank God. I mean, I hope he gets the help he needs but I need to buy more buffet soon.

That would have been something to watch…

I don’t know if he ever actually played the role before, but in my mind’s eye, John Henry always looked like Michael Clarke Duncan.

If you do this on a White iPhone, it also posts bail and changes your current Facebook profile photo to your First Communion photo.

“I have some quibbles with Rowling’s world building—how does magic work, exactly?”

Unpopular opinion: American Psycho was just as awful as the book upon which it is based. It was a boring porno that tried to dress itself up as art and failed at both.

Nah. This confirms that men should not be in positions of authority because they’re too emotional, impulsive, and inept at handling conflicts and high stress situations.