I've never seen a beautiful lady reading The Guide so far away from a TV.

One of the girls down at the maid service is named Koko.

Why no T-Bone?!

I was in the pool!

Superman wore a cape, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and let you say something bad about him.

Interesting…

You're living in the past, man! You're hung up on some clown from the sixties, man!

She's not Chinese?

I think you make a very nice couple.

You suck!

Bania.

I wanna walk away from the Yankees with people saying, "Wow! Now that guy got canned!"

No, you don't.

That Johnny Depp, he make me cry.

Boy that Hennigan's goes down smooth. And afterwards you don't even smell.

They made me buy it! A hundred bucks this thing cost me! How dare they! I got news for you, if it wasn't for the toilet, there would be no books.

Did you ever eat an ostrich burger?

How's your mother?

Oh, I'm looking right at you, BIG DADDY.

Now listen to me: two hundred Jewish singles need you. This is your chance to make it all right again.