@jessi10: I have a friend who thinks contraceptive use, even when married, is contrary to God's wishes. She has six kids. I have none.

@QueenOfTheForest: I thought it was a shipping line ....

@shellren67: Ditto. Sweats, if I can get away with it.

My fear of childbirth pales in comparison to my fear of actually having children to take care of.

@lemke ☠☠☠: I am dealing with it. Contraceptives work quite nicely.

@Melodyannabelle: Break out the crystal! Sometimes you have to make your own celebration, and you might as well do it in style.

@Lono285: Me too. I thought maybe the school was in Riverton.

Men are fascinated by their own dicks. They think everyone else shares that fascination. They're wrong.

@Moretta: Ditto. All the girls in grade school told me I would never have a boyfriend because I was too tall. I started slouching in about the 5th grade and it took me years to correct my posture.

@OldEnough2BYourMama: Indeed. I hate to think what it would be like to be looking for a professional job if you're a woman with some grey hair.

I keep thinking there was something I forgot to do. What was it? I can't remember ...

Righteous testosterone? What the fuck is that?

My mom did that when I was a kid. We called them "Crusties." Now, I want to go home and make some.

@leftoverhill: My husband's family tradition was for all the guys to go to the track on Thanksgiving, and let the ladies stay home and do the cooking.

@AndPreciousLittleofThat: Project Runway, perhaps? Just think of what she could design!

The depth of her shallowness has been revealed, and people just don't give a shit about her.

@MondayMondayMonday: If they want to focus their electoral efforts on crowning a winner of a lame TV show, I say let them.

Those are quite possibly the ugliest pants I have ever seen.

@bananafishtoday: Seeing Russia from her porch qualified her to be an expert on foreign relation.

@lockdog: Interesting. People who can't follow simple directions, excercise even minimal judgment and make poor decisions end up in the criminal justice system.