I’m down here for funny hot takes before I’ve even finished the trailer because I lost interest. That’s not a good sign. 

THANK YOU

I can’t believe Henry Tudor won the War of the Roses?! He barely did anything! 

So is criticism possible? Should it even be done? 

It also helps that that version is working with a Rodgers & Hammerstein score. If it was choreographed, even a little bit, and the editing made sense, it’d be a pretty good version. They clearly spent some money on it.

Fair, but don’t feel the need to take artistic subjectivity so far that you can’t make distinctions on whether it’s quality content or not. Just because it’s someone else’s dream movie or lines up with someone else’s pet theory doesn’t make it good.

Hey, don’t talk about Varys that way. He was a eunuch, not a strawman. 

Oh boy. Yippee. Can’t wait.

At least the anti-SJW brigade should be happy. Can’t wait for the long dialogue scenes about how the Jedi Order will never accept leadership from someone without a cock. 

Yowch. The least they could have done was adjusted the key for Will Smith. He could sing a lot faster if he wasn’t reaching for those notes. 

Scorpia is the epitome of Big Hufflepuff Energy. Now someone please get her a non-touchscreen device! 

So is Disney just flat-out not creating new musical films for children anymore?

Wow. That was...terrible. Just terrible all around. What a criminal waste of a cast still giving it 100 percent. 

Ohhhh, you’re in for a Treat, Mr. Whitbrook. A TREAT. 

With the caveat that I loved it, that my face was appropriately melted for three hours, and requisite kudos delivered to the writers, directors and actors for putting on the show of their lives....here are my notes.

1. Not being deeply immersed in the lore of the Infinity Stones outside of these movies, I thought the…

What happened to 2014 Gamora at the end of the movie? Did Tony snap her out of existence? It seemed like she could have stayed, but she wasn’t on the Guardian’s ship at the end. 

So...millions of people are going to die now, right?

Like, the earth just got three and a half billion extra people, so there’s gonna be starvation

plus there’s a lot of very confused bigamists and half siblings

I mean, I think Thor’s is a more realistic version of America’s ass

Who was the young man standing all by himself in that scene?

TO be fair, the first book was pretty good and ahead of the YA curve. Then everything had to be trilogies and it...declined pretty precipitously. 

I want to buy Scarlett’s!