We spend huge chunks of our lives trying to acquire both love and money. At some point, though, we’d all kind of like to have both. And when you do—and you and your significant other have been living together in sweaty sin long enough—there then comes a time where your financial future becomes plural. It’s a bit of a…
Ah, hell, it’s winter again—the time of year where we partake in the seasonal ritual of hunkering down, getting fat, and birthing our blind young into piles of stolen stove insulation. Okay, that last thing might only be for the mice. They’re in your house now, too, by the way. And while I bear no ill will towards any…
In 1924, when the New York Times asked George Mallory why he was going to make his third attempt to scale Everest, he infamously, if apocryphally, answered, “Because it’s there.” It’s a fantastic reason to climb a mountain, pithy and cavalier, the kind of thing every man wishes would be inscribed on his tombstone.
The problem is, most things are Good in inverse proportion to the degree to which they’re Fun. Broccoli is Good; Bacon is Fun. Taxes are Good; Casinos are Fun. Gyms are Good; Bars are Fun. You get the picture. But assuming, as I do, that all of us must live at least a little, few things are less Good and more Fun than…
Guns make for poor conversation. Generally speaking, there are two entrenched ideological camps—aficionados and abolitionists—and any attempt to hold a middle ground is likely to enflame both sides. You, by now, probably know how you feel about guns, and this is, by no means, an attempt to change that. What it is,…
The Kentucky Derby, a/k/a “The Fastest Two Minutes in Sports,” is an event rich with tradition. It’s an opportune time to brush up on your Hunter S. Thompson, and/or drink cheap bourbon out of silver cups, and/or laugh along with rich assholes who give their horses ridiculous names for their own amusement.
Killing a half-day fishing is one of life’s greatest joys. Measuring yourself against Earth’s dumbest creatures and being found wanting is terrible. For this reason, fishing is the most frustrating of our relaxing pastimes.
Lifting weights should be simple. You go to a place with a bunch of metal and pick it up and put it down until you look like The Incredible Hulk. But weightlifting—like any other worthwhile pursuit—requires study, planning, and care to succeed at, which sucks.
You may have heard about a big East Coast blizzard hitting soon. Big storms are like the crimes on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, in that they happen everywhere, but always get more coverage when they happen to New Yorkers.
