I loved that one. “It’s open to anry college...annry kollish...” THUMP.

That's funny, she doesn't look that hot to me.

I am sure all 3 of their viewers were shocked.

Sorry, but according to Urban Dictionary, a “Royal We” involves a Corgi and a quart of urine.

WHAT DID YOU DO, RAY???

Also, no animals, either living or dead. I’m disappointed. We need to collectively do better next year.

She misunderstood “the Bun in Oven” metaphor.

Totally agree. I was in Myanmar earlier this month talking to a cab driver who said one of the wisest things I’ve ever heard: “The fist and the rules shouldn’t be held by the same people.” Part of why we’re in a downward spiral is that armed people have too much control over the government right now.

Well that’s an unfortunate experience. Some people enjoy preying on others and that’s a mentality I never understood. But I never cared about understanding it, just putting an end to it. I would ignore bullying until I was no longer willing to do so, then I’d bring a chair down over someone’s head and that would be…

Actually ... the Japanese were not debating unconditional surrender in the days immediately after Hiroshima. Japanese strategists believed the Americans only had limited production capacity (which was true, but not as limited as believed), and recommended to endure the consequences and keep fighting. The Americans…

Exactly. We throw some civilian targets on the list. The Soviets know our list. We know they know our list. Same on the other side. And because of that, neither side does anything too stupid and we all live to see Russia become the greatest source of dashcam videos the world will ever know.

I think some people are having a Steve Harvey-esque hard time reading your puns.

*Philippines (gah this will be long and I’m still in the gray).

Maybe she can parlay it into fame and fortune. Google tells me she’s a television presenter, so hopefully her career will take off magnificently to make up for the fact that googling her name currently pulls up this:

You misspelled Philippians

In a truly biblical fuck up, a colossian mistake by Steve Harvey, but congrats to Miss Phillipians.

It could have been worse. Remember that time Miss New Jersey ripped the crown off the head of Miss Rhode Island and then it exploded?

Yeah, no doubt, but how about how Colombia and Philippines feel? Colombia is clearly not coughing up that crown without a fight, and Philippines doesn’t get to enjoy her win a bit.

In the history of live TV screw-ups, this is probably the worst one right here. Can’t imagine how he feels right now.