Flip or Flop: “Oh, man, this house requires more cash than I have, good thing me and my trophy wife are goddamn trust-fund babies and I can just ask my folks or hers for the money!”

Save yourself trouble and get a bamboo bathmat. Wicks water away from your feet, dries underneath. Aneurism and weird time-sucking rituals avoided.

Things with opposable thumbs don’t need to use rocks, so I guess that could be considered.

On that second clip, did he briefly step up into the pocket to bait the DE’s to come further in giving him more time to escape to the outside? That was either an “Oh, shit!” moment on his part or pure genius. Won’t see it from any other QB in the league.

Speaking of frozen ropes, how the hell did you manage to crank out this article with one hand while rubbing one out the entire time?

I don’t get it, the Seahawks already have Russell Wilson, Miracle Water of some kind and a bunch of “fans” that couldn’t pick Brian Bosworth out of a lineup. What more do they need to cheer for?

As a Vikings fan, I’m just glad this little prick got taken off the board before Rick Spielman had a chance to go all “Rick Spielman”.

Nah, it’s from Amazon. They make up for it in volume.

If this stuff is already happening in Week 2, I can’t wait to see how Suh and the rest of the team are getting along when the team is 3-8 two months from now.

I would consider myself pretty light-skinned for whatever reason when it comes to truly creepy films, but this one really tipped the scales. I remember seeing the Blair Witch Project when I was 15 and thinking 1) totally pedestrian and 2), that ending shot, even at that age I thought “Wait—that’s it?” Even having…

To this day, I think The Ring was the only modern “scary” movie that ever actually frightened me. Not only did it create a palpable air or dread but it really got you with the jump-scares you expected from lesser movies but never paid off. So in this scene pictured above when she finally stood up and then was suddenly…

Yeah! Chill Bro! Gtfo and such! TRUMP 4 PREZ! Or Ted Cruz! Or Scott Walker! Or Ben Carson! All of them qualified to be your leader! See you at the voting booth, guy! Be sure to bring your “Chill, Bro!” t-shirt! Right now! (!!!!)

So which one of these asshats do you support or are you just waiting until the dust settles to pick whichever insane fuckshit the GOP approves of? Pick one, right now.

This shit should be enough to disqualify any breathing human being.

If you wouldn’t want to find yourself in such a situation, I believe you’ve found the answer to your question.

Let’s appreciate that the round used in the animation is a hollow-point.

Hey, this would be a great invention if cops only fired one shot. Unarmed homeless people require at least a full clip, though.

Goddammit, Joe. Every reason he gave not to run is every reason he should run.

Enjoy the fuck out of it. Jimmy Garrappolo is your future and you will embrace that shit and we will all revel in your comeuppance. Also no one gives a shit about the Patriots. Your QB and front office continually shit all over your franchise and destroy its legacy and all you can do is sit idly by and post gifs of…