Why are people surprised at this? Every rich person with a good accountant does this.

Fultz: When do you think I can play again, doc?

Tom Benson: new phone who dat?

the student who was hit has been to the hospital twice because of post-concussion syndrome

Economics degrees, too, if they want to try and get a handle on the byzantine rules of capology (though the NBA is honestly a far worse offender in this regard).

You know what helps with ratings? Requiring law degrees from all of your fans in order for them to understand why an exciting young player is or isn’t playing.

Make up your damn minds people. I can only cancel/uncancel this Papa John’s order so many times.

Classic showboat move. Go for the three when all he needed to do was bait the defense into a three-second lane violation and hit the subsequent technical free throw. I’ve had it with hero ball.

“this was done by a Twitter customer support employee who did this on the employee’s last day.”

That one flew right over your head...

I need to see video. For, you know, research purposes.

WHO! IS DYING! FROM THE FUMES! OF AN OPEN FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I seriously question grey nurse sharks being included in this group. Everything else...yeah, assume pretty much all the wildlife in Australia is out to kill you.

Who would do that? They think they sailed to fucking Epcot or something?

It was probably all porn.

Yeah football typically does result in a long, happy, healthy retirement. Good for him.

In 20 years, he won’t remember he used to be a god damn millionaire.

He won’t remember in 20 years, either.

I would gladly sacrifice my respect to live the life of Brock. In 20 years no one will remember anyway and he’ll be a god damn millionaire.

Toxins are the best boogeyman marketing ever.