"You know who loved clown makeup? My good friend Groucho."

I have no idea.

I did the TV Powww thing. I had no idea it was a syndicated thing. I thought it was just on KTVU in SF. My mom actually watched the show and then gave me a little smack on the ass when I was supposed to say "pow." Won me a "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" T-shirt.

Not feeling the Bjarn?

It's a little known fact, but that's why Harding, Wilson and Teddy Roosevelt all died pretty young. Eaten by Taft. He went after FDR, too, but only managed to mangle his legs.

And I call it Kaw-Liga.

Well, there's something dangling in front of it most of the time.

My girlfriend keeps pronouncing her name "Deevose." Which gets "Whip It" stuck in my head every time.

We were all warned that marriage equality meant that people would be marrying turtles soon, and there's your proof.

Not me, but I have a nose like a cigar-store Indian.

But she is the least bad, right? Unless she goes out on the weekends and sets hobos on fire, she must be better than her older siblings.

What was the Genesis of this thread?

Wild.

Downvoted?

Which Shakespeare? King Lear? Is Tiffany really the good child and he can't see that?

Then she cries about it all through the night.

She does the same thing every year? Time after time?

I think they use a chimp.

Every April Fools' Day, my girlfriend mentions her all-time favorite April Fools' joke, which was when she and her mother convinced her then-husband that she was pregnant. I don't know if she realizes, but whenever I hear that story I think, "Do I really want to be with someone who'd do that?" I guess I do. At least,…

"Hey, I though I was the biggest dickhead in DC!"