The officer did not observe ‘difficulty multitasking or trouble keeping his equilibrium.’

It’s impossible to like one of those things but not the other? Really?

I had a feeling something just HAD to go wrong.

Tough to leave sure money for ‘is it my turn to talk now?’

I said he likes him. Not endorses.

Is Tom Brady not a smart man? We put the masters of reading the defense on such s pedestal that maybe we overlook them not reading...books? If I trusted a their/they’re/there fuckup with a whiff of my (scant) personal fortune, I’d expect my (not) Brazilian model wife to rip me a new one.

Do I have to subpoena you to actually show me requests 7-9 or can you just not stop the list abruptly and without explanation?

How to explain it then? Maybe the existence of the ‘statistic’ called ‘saves?’ Not being douchey- I think the stat and the hero aspect that comes with it (think Vaughn in Major League) has led to over-emphasis of the Final Inning and The Closer.

Those Brazilians got away with a close shave

You know he had someone take his SATs for him, right? To make sure he got the whopping 400 each on reading and math.

I don’t know. If it’s so briny that it resists freezing on a planet that rarely gets a whiff of positive Celsius temperatures, wouldn’t we be looking at the equivalent of a polar Dead Sea?

I’m glad the sea turtle/baby whale/tuna/flounder/ fuckingthing wasn’t dead/dying/in serious fucking trouble after all. Holy shit!

The Vikings may have a job opening for you

I've met Ragnar, and you, sir, are no Ragnat.

The car is full of refs ready to call a foul on anyone who gets near Harden

He wasn’t gonna get off the ice until he finished the shift.

Genius

Whoopidie doo! Bad strike call trend eliminated! Thanks, crazy eyed asshole. Umps will now obey that pitch trax thing.

Yeah- remember the kidz with tape over their earlobes because they had just gotten a piercing they couldn't take out yet? I remember. The tape hurt when I took it off.

What does that mean? Like in terms of baseball. ‘We can’t get out of our own way, so we should...’ ?